The Magnificent Comb-Over


Some things just sort of sneak up on you. Before you realize what's going on, it's almost too late to do anything about them. At this very moment, a cultural tragedy of epic proportions is at such a point. The world is in very real danger of losing one of its most significant, talked about, and admired icons: the Comb-Over.


Recently, I interviewed Marco Shanelli, president and founder of The Society for the Preservation of the Comb-Over (SPC). Marco and his cousin Nick are working tirelessly to increase public awareness of this impending tragedy. They have set up a website, various social media platforms and are in the process of securing land for a Comb-Over museum. The museum will house a training venue where the skills involved in proper Comb-Over technique will be taught by seasoned experts. Shanelli hopes to insure the future of this classic style for generations to come.

Over the years, as in other notable art forms, various schools of thought have developed. Modern, avant-garde enthusiasts have been known to incorporate exotic and unusual approaches, such as including hair from the nose and/or ears into the sweep. Purists scoff at such antics, claiming that a true Comb-Over must adhere to a prescribed form and technique, based on tradition and the laws of physics.

Zillionare and modern day Comb-Over proponent Donald Trump, plans to donate fifty seven dollars to the recently launched International Comb-Over Protection Fund. Mr. Trump also plans to head up a team of specialists from around the world dedicated to uncovering historic evidence of Comb-Overs in pre-industrial times. Trump, a self professed aficionado, has been key in keeping the tradition alive in North America. Skeptics criticize his “lackadaisical technique” and see him as a poor representative of this beloved art. I personally think his popularity speaks not only for his charming and magnificent personality, but the innovative quality of his comb-over.


Mr. Trumps popularity is at present suffering a decline, due in part to an unfortunate accident. When addressing a crowd outside Trump Plaza, a strong gust of wind dislodged the uppermost section of his signature comb-over, sending it into the crowd and all but severing the arm of a local woman. One of Mr. Trumps assistants quickly gathered the errant strand and returned it to its proper location, but the damage had been done and paramedics were alerted. One man claims to have heard Mr. Trump whisper “Take that, you cow!”, just as the hair took flight, implying the situation to be a premeditated attack.

In celebration of International Comb-Over Week, people across the world are showing support by shaving the tops of their heads and creating their own, personalized versions of the art form. A noted hair salon is also getting involved by launching a new line of styling products, geared specifically toward the comb-over. Another has created instructional videos, highlighting new techniques, while a wig manufacturer in India has launched a line of “Faux-Overs”; clip in, wind resistant strands that can be worn for special occasions.


It's refreshing to see such renewed interest in this magnificent art form. One shudders to think what the world would be without it; bleak, barren, unsexy and uninspired. Please do your part to save this marvel of aesthetics and one day soon, with a little luck, we'll return to those glorious days when comb-overs could be seen on any street corner.

P.S. My apologies to any Trump fans. This is not meant as an attack on Mr. Trump, I'm just having some fun.